Best Ways to Deal With Attention Seekers
Posted by Luulla Admin
Wednesday 17 May 2017
Posted by Luulla Admin
Wednesday 17 May 2017
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Admit it, everyone needs attentions. Without giving and getting attention, you could not have a social species. Getting attention is utterly necessary for daily life and it can be the crucial factor that can be the difference between life and death in a crisis. Hence, not getting sufficient attention can threaten the quality and sustainability of life. However, extreme attention seekers can be a thorn in your side for a number of reasons. They are needy and they are often embarrassing themselves (and you), and they most likely just don't understand what boundaries are. Usually this happens due to their insecurity and attention seeking behaviour.
Now you are clear with the characteristics of attention seekers, how are you actually going to deal with them? Keep reading to find out more!
1. Ignore them!
Honestly speaking, this is absolutely the LAST thing an attention seeker would want you to do - which is why it works so well! They just want drama in order to be the center attention. Hence, simply just do not acknowledge them and learn to burst their balloons every time they raise the drama by playing it cool and completely not responding. If you do not acknowledge them, attention seekers will eventually give up on trying to befriend you, and then will move to other easier targets. After all, low hanging fruit is easier to pick.
P.S Attention seekers will find every possible way to share the drama around and draw attentions to themselves. Including going onto social media accounts, gossiping and being self-absorbed face-to-face.
2. Tell them why you are not interested in talking to them and make sure you let others be aware of it.
Usually attention seekers don't realise how bad they look to anyone who isn't them. Hence, be honest and direct by telling them the reasons you are not interested in talking to them. This may hurt them, and they may talk about having you not talk to them, but you are actually did a great deed in nipping their bad behaviour in the bud. Since, you have already open about refusing dealing with them, it is more unlikely they can spread rumors about you either.
3. Pull yourself out from their dramas!
Remain cordial, but start distancing yourself from the attention seekers. For instance, stop answering their calls and texts. Let them know that you're busy. After sometime, most attention seekers will then stop trying to talk to you and involve you in whatever drama they got themselves into.
Ways to distance yourself from attention seekers
- Do not agree with one when one needles you to agree that what they are going through is worse than anything else possible.
- Play it cool and always stay calm by not raising your voice and not buying into the fear or anxiety that they are trying to promote.
- Do not pick up calls or reply their texts.
- Actively disagreeing with broad-sweeping statements that they make about things not going well, and point out what is going right.
- If one keeps annoying you, try to give them more positive vibes by mention something along the lines of "less complaining tends to result in enjoying life" or "confidence is silent, insecurities are loud", then leave it at that.
4. Set boundaries, and stick to them.
As I have mentioned earlier, attention seekers most likely just do not understand what boundaries are and also often the first ones to actually ignore the boundaries. They either pressure you into inviting them to a hangout, or they namedrop you if you are in a position of power! Hence, it is always good to set your own boundaries first. Let them know what borders they should not cross. If they cross that border line, immediately confront them, and if they do it again, tell them you have already told them before, and that you are no longer dealing with them. If they try to beg for forgiveness, don't let them slide. This shows that you will not tolerate their behaviour and might actually let them realise their own attitude.
5. Many a true word is spoken in a jest
It doesn't need to be direct always, sometimes implicit meaning does works, but only if it's done to a person who understands it. When one is becoming a bit too awkward with the constant ploys to get people discussing about them, just throw one a simple joke about how they're being such an attention seeker. This might actually shame them and get them to stop.
6. Let others take care of the drama
It's probably that eventually the attention seeker will find a new group of friends who are willing to lap up the drama. When this actually happen, you will break free and get back your peace and calm that has descended upon you and your life! It's time to fill yourself with more positive vibes. Involve with friends who have their feet firmly planted on the ground and who don't have the slightest interest in playing victim.
7. Always be aware that attention seeker might backstab you
Attention seekers tend to have the habit of backstabbing or telling lies about you. So watch out for lies. If you get in trouble, make sure you walk up to that person and confront. Say somthing like this:"If you don't stop, I'm going to give you the taste of your own medicine, and our friendship ends here!" You might think this sounds mean, but that's what they deserve.
Obviously, you will at times have to deal with people who cry out for attention no matter what they are doing. As long as you keep your distance, though, you will be alright. And always find forgiveness! This may seem strange after distancing yourself and trying to be a stronger person but forgiveness will set both of you free!
